The other day I actually got out of the house by myself. This is a big deal, a momentous deal; it doesn’t happen very often.

Not only did I get out of the house, but I actually made it to the salon for a haircut. It had been a while and after one failed attempt – a puking husband meant a canceled hair appointment one week earlier – me and my split-ends parted ways.

As I was sauntering back to the car (car! I don’t have a car anymore… I meant van aka family-mobile) feeling good about my perfectly flat ironed hair, a man on a bike rolled up to me and said:

“I think you are awesome and beautiful and I was wondering if you would like to have a coffee with me”.

I was a bit dumbfounded; the days of me getting hit on are long in my past. I mean there was a time when I was in my late teens and early 20s where no joke, I couldn’t go anywhere without eliciting some type of male response. Men would just walk up to me and give me their phone numbers or ask me for mine.

It wasn’t that I was especially beautiful or anything. I think it was more like I was tall, thin, reasonably attractive and just dumb and naive enough looking to be easily approached.

As I got older I lost a few of those traits (after three kids I am sure you can guess which ones) and these days, aside from my wonderful hubby, I don’t get much male attention. I travel with an entourage of three small children so I would say I look about as attractive to the opposite sex as I would if I had say… a goiter growing out of my neck or… large boils on my face.

In other words, I am not getting much action, so when this guy rolled up to me, I had a moment of shock and then started running other possible scenarios through my head.

My thoughts went a little like this:

Hmmm, is this man trying to distract me so he can steal my purse?? I am in Downtown Victoria, it could happen right and he is on a bike so his getaway would be very fast… must clutch purse harder.

Well, he looks normal but could it be that he is actually handicapped and regularly approaches anyone and everyone and tells them they are awesome before asking them to coffee? He doesn’t look handicapped but then again would I be able to tell??? It is weird he said awesome… it seems a bit juvenile?

Hmmm, he looks about my age but could this man actually be a boy hence the awesome? Is Chris Hansen of Dateline NBC hiding somewhere? Is this some new spin-off of To Catch a Predator where they lure recently postpartum woman into dates with young men? Are they testing me to see if I am a pedafile??

*Quick look around*

Nope, no cameras, no Chris Hansen… WTH is going on here?

Wait a minute… is this man a gigolo?!? Is he actually soliciting me right now?

OMG, is he a cop?!? OMG are the cops watching?!? OMG could I be arrested for just talking to a gigolo even if I did not start the convo?

Do gigolos ride bikes?

*Quick look around*

Nope, no cops.

Wait a minute, could this guy literally just be hitting on me? Could he legitimately be normal and be asking me, a married mother of three, to coffee??

Then I realized I had been quiet a moment too long and quickly answered with: “Ummmm, sorry but I’m married” before I scurried off to my way wicked family-mobile.

I am still not sure what actually happened back there. It is hard for me to believe that a man may have actually been hitting on me. I still believe one of the scenarios that ran through my head was far more likely.

What are your thoughts peeps? Which scenario do you think was going down? How many of you other Moms get hit on and what do you do?

I clearly was a dear in headlights… talk about out of practice!

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