Tuesday night is a special night. Hubby has class which means, that once the boys are in bed, I get much coveted alone time! It is glorious, two hours of time that I can do whatever I want with, no interruptions from anyone.

This Tuesday had been especially taxing; apparently someone forgot to educate my nine-month-old on the United Nations Convention Against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment. Doesn’t he know that his gut wrenching screaming is actually in contravention of International Law? Seriously, that shit was just too much for this Mommy to take.

Needless to say, I was looking forward to my alone time. I had big plans that involved an Edith Piaf CD and Jude the Obscure  because nothing puts me more at ease than a fiery Parisian woman singing in french paired with a little Thomas Hardy and a glass of red wine (alright they weren’t big plans but hey, I don’t have much of a life ok).

I was just about to settle in when I saw my Son’s potty treat jar in all it’s colourful, sugar filled glory on the kitchen counter. I don’t normally eat candy, it is not really my thing. So, I normally just ignore the Jelly Bellies and Smarties but, this evening they were calling my name and I caved and grabbed a very small handful.

I walked into the living room, settled into the couch, pressed play on Madame Piaf, grabbed my book and settled in while nibbling on my small treat stash. It was going to be a perfectly relaxing evening and then…

My fucking tooth broke!

What ran through my mind was: I didn’t just seriously break off a piece of my molar on a freakin Jelly Belly did I?

WTF! I did!

Night officially ruined. Why you ask?

I am extremely fastidious and neurotic about teeth. I floss everyday, I always brush with an electric tooth brush, I like my teeth white, nice and shiny and healthy (I never said I wasn’t shallow ok). In other words, a broken tooth sends me into a total neurotic tail spin!

I can’t stop running my tongue over it again and again and again. Even Edith Piaf and Thomas Hardy can’t distract from a broken tooth.

Damn you Jelly Bellies and your evil, tooth breaking ways!!

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